00:00:06 Hello, I'm Bonny Snowdon, ex-corporate person and mother turned successful artist entrepreneur. It wasn't that long ago though that I lacked the confidence, vision, and support network to focus on growing my dream business. Fast forward past many life curve balls, waves of self-doubt, and so many lessons learned. And you'll see Ignite my thriving online coloured pencil artist community, a community that changes members' lives for the better, and gives me freedom to live abundantly whilst doing what I love and spending quality time with my beloved family and dogs, all whilst creating my best artwork with coloured pencils and mentoring others to do the same. But this life wasn't always how it was for me. It used to only exist in my imagination.
00:00:46 I've created the, it's a Bonny old life podcast to help increase people's confidence, share mine and my community's experience, and hope through fascinating personal stories, champion the other amazing humans in my personal, professional, and membership community, and create another channel through which I can support others to realize their dreams. If you're a passionate coloured pencil artist or an aspiring one who's looking to create their best work and a joyful life you love, you're in the right place. Grab a cup and a cu cream.
00:01:16 Let's get cracking. This is a very special week for my podcast as it's the first birthday. I can't believe it's been a year since the fabulous tea party and the launch ceremony. And then every single week there's been a new episode. It's been amazing chatting to different people, holding space for their stories and finding out so much about things I had no idea about before. Listen to some of the highlights this week as we celebrate 12 months, 36,000 downloads and some incredibly special people who have been part of my life.
00:01:46 Welcome to my first ever episode of, it's a Bonny Old Life. As many of you who already know me are aware, family is very important to me, and I class anyone in my community as family. Whether they're related to me or a part of my TRIBE, my close family have always been incredibly supportive. And over the last few years, there've been many ups and quite a few downs with my family. Always there to help pick up the pieces. My two older sisters have been over and beyond supportive and am absolutely delighted to be talking to one of them today.
00:02:15 What better way to start my podcast off than talking to the person who first put the idea of becoming a full-time artist into my head. Now I have to be very careful here introducing her as we both, we both have very strong, what we call great grandpa PR jeans in which anything we say that has any emotional connotation, we both start weeping. Wonderful, supportive wife and mother of three, owner of a thriving family business. A huge support to me and my little family and host of fabulous Christmas kazoo concerts. Anabel, my big sister. Hello.
00:02:47 Well, it's just you stand now. So this is when I was, when I was thinking about the questions to ask you, and I haven't, I don't think I've actually asked you a question, but when I was, when I was thinking about the questions to ask, ask you, I was thinking, oh gosh, what can I, what can I ask about her? You know, she's just my sister and she's, and I was like, but hang on a second. She lived in London. She sung at the Royal Albert Hall. She was on a flipping video with Freddie Mercury. You were on Emmerdale, Coronation Street. Tell me about your singing.
00:03:21 Well, I'd always, I know we've al I would always loved singing. Yeah. And we've al we've already had like a little bit of Arnold tits. Oh, I was good. You can all tell, can't we now that I'm a really good singer. I, yeah, well,
00:03:38 I've always loved singing and I wanted to be an actress. And then I didn't want to be an actress because it, I went to an in, I went to an audition when I was 17 and it was all very, I dunno, didn't like it. I think I was sheltered and it was, it was not, no, it was a very strange audition.
00:03:54 So then I thought, oh no, what we're gonna do? Oh, I know I'll do singing. So I auditioned for Trinity College of Music in London, and by some amazing chance I got in. So then I had four years on a singing performance course in London, which was fantastic. It didn't set me up for anything else in life. But I had a lovely four years and made some lovely friends and had a good time and,
00:04:18 you know, had a nice time in London. I then did lots of auditions. It's really hard in the, in the singing because you, you have to stand up on stage and you have to, if you've got an instrument, you are singing, you are, you are through your instrument and it's less personal. But when it's, when it's your voice,
00:04:33 it's you. And it's very, very, when you're standing on stage and somebody goes now thanks after three notes, it quickly. You've really got to get quite a, quite a thick skin. And it's like anything with, you know, it's like a lot of things, but it, you know, especially in the arts, it, it is,
00:04:50 it's hard because, you know, it's very personal, isn't it? It is very personal. Also, the, the, the, you know, the falls come more than the, than the not fault. Well then, what's another word? The falls or the, the ups. Yes. That's the, The downsides are more than the upside. So you have to really,
00:05:06 you have to really keep your enthusiasm, the enthusiasm for it going. And so I, I did, I, I did enough singing cuz in singing you could get contract. So if I did a wedding, I'd just get a contract written up. And when you had enough contracts he could get in those days, he used to have to have an equity card to go on tv.
00:05:24 I don't think you do now. And then that was just the way of, of the, the sort of, it was like a union, an actor's union. So, because I didn't get many jobs singing, I thought, well I'll, I'll just sort of keep the wolf in the door and I'll, I'll do some extra work. So I was living back at home in Yorkshire and then I'd go over to Manchester to Grard Studios a couple of,
00:05:44 couple or three times a week and just do extra work. And I did that for a couple of years. And there's only, I mean, it was, I mean, looking back on it, it was exciting. I was in the rover's return with all the, the, you know, be Lynch and I, I was there at that time,
00:06:01 but just sitting in the background of my jeans and a jumper and yeah, the Freddie Mercury thing is quite cool now. Cause I can say to my kids, my goodness, there's me. And It sort of still looks like me. Just, was It, were you dancing on it? Yeah. Was it like The, there was a closeup me.
00:06:19 Oh, Was it? Yeah. Not like the Ross and Rachel dance, some Friends. No. Well, no, it might be worse actually. We just had, it was just, yeah, it was a bit actually side to side. We all had to do it. We had to be there at seven o'clock in the morning in the Dominion Theater.
00:06:33 And then we were there for 12 hours and we got paid 20 quid. Gosh. Yeah. Well that was a lot of money then. Really. I suppose 1980 In the back in the twenties. Yeah. She's that old. Really old. Yeah. So then, yeah, I did lots of singing. I love singing. It, it, it is,
00:06:53 I think singing for me is probably what art is for you. And it just is, it's a way of expressing, it can get your anger out, it can get your passionate, it can get your sadness out and you can just sing. And I can sing when I'm walking, as long as there's no one around. Sometimes there are people around,
00:07:11 and then I have to be quite quickly. But it's a real, what's the word I'm looking for, release. It is, it's a, it is, it's, it's a, an emotional release. Yeah. And it's, and singing is really, I mean, it's sort of the, the original emotional releaser. Yeah. I've Lost all my words.
00:07:30 We're we we're great at, we're great. I'm better at singing. Yeah. We're really good at this. No, but I, I know what you mean. I know what you mean. And, and actually our family is, is really quite musical. Yes. We are very musical actually. And I only realized that actually, I just accept,
00:07:48 people can sing in tune. But my own son finds it quite hard. And Charlie find if it's not in his key. Right. Or in his, in his, not in his key. In his range. In his range. Yeah. He really Struggles. Yeah. And I, so actually I think we're, yeah, we're very Lucky. Yeah.
00:08:04 We, I mean, you know, and we've always done, I mean, you know, we, if we think back to sort of like, you know, when we were children and all of the concerts that we used to put on and Yeah. Yeah. My grandpa sitting there crying his eyes out. Oh, great grandpa. I know. That's It.
00:08:20 Oh, grandma on the piano. Yeah. Batching out. Although it's spelled out once she'd had a few sharings And it was all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order. Oh dear. All great grandma. Oh no, I Dunno. But yeah, so we, we, you know, and I guess an artistic as well, you know,
00:08:44 I mean, Heidi, our, our younger Sister. Oh yes. Yeah, she's very good. Goodness. But she was doing drawing before, long before you were Yes, she was painting, which is why she was asked do Sarah's dad's Story. Yeah. But her painting is just Yes, she's fantastic. She's very good. Yeah. But our mother as Well.
00:08:59 How she mixed up again. Yeah. Our, well she, our mother did art. Yeah. She was a but she's very, oh gosh, art, She's very blossy. Yeah. She's just, she just is big and blossy and Just fabulous. She's this sort person who kind of, she does her oil painting with her pallet knife and Yes.
00:09:17 Yeah. Although her, when she did those portraits, they were good. Oh, she did all oil portraits. Beautiful. Yeah. And pastels and everything. Yeah. Really, really good. But she, she likes using sort of lots of different mediums and everything. Whereas mine is very tight. You know, my, my, my work is very,
00:09:34 and I, I honestly believe that my work is so controlled because I have such a lack of control everywhere else. I do. Do you think that's what it's, I Think, I mean, you know, Mr. Owen control. Oh God, please. I, I, I, I think, oh God, I hope he's not listening. I wrote in his,
00:09:55 cuz he was, I really didn't like him. I had to have, when I was 11, 10, 11, oh the secrets came Out. 10, it was 11 plus. Yeah. I had to have, I had to have extra lessons basically. We all had extra lessons for 11 plus tutoring cuz we were needed to get into our local grammar school. Yes.
00:10:10 Basically. And I was, nothing changes so late. I mean, I'm the laziest person on the planet. I really am. I just will not, I know it doesn't look like I'm lazy, but if I don't need to do anything, I just won't do it. I really didn't like him. And he was mean and he was horrible. And I,
00:10:24 and oh, God's awful. I carved into his chair. I hate Mr. Owen. Which is terrible, isn't it? It's terrible. I might cut that. You might be listening. I'm look at His chair. I know, I know. Well, he found it and then I was, and then I was Punished mismatched your, Your hand.
00:10:41 Yeah. I was punished as a ruler. But I have to say I think it was very well-matched. Yes. Yeah. I, we digress. What was I talking about? Control. I, I, I don't really have, I mean, my dogs are completely outta control. My children are, my children are okay. But, you know,
00:10:58 I don't have, I'm not, I'm not sort of regimented or anything like that. So everything's just sort of laid well, you laid back. So laid back and just, you know, whatever. And I think that's probably why I, I have that tightness. Like why I, I loved my graphic design and the type setting, you know, cause everything was really,
00:11:15 really, everything has been exactly the right place. That's the only time I have order. It's really interesting actually, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's been really nice. Yeah. Thank You. We've just been setting, people are probably thinking, what Is, is this about? I'm not sure. Yeah. So I've got one question that I'm going to ask,
00:11:38 ask everybody and Oh, I need to get my glasses on now to be able to read It. Would you like me to read it For you? No, no. I can read it. It's fine. When it comes to confidence. Yeah. What is your number one tip? This is, see, I find this really tricky because, because I've always,
00:11:56 I'm not saying, gosh, I'm so confident it's not that, but because I've always, since I was very little, I've always either gone on stage, had to sing in front of people and everything else, and that kind of goes on. So I would say, I mean, I, I know there's, this thing goes around, people say,
00:12:14 well, just imagine everyone naked. Which I don't know, I don't, I think that might put me off and that might make me worse. But I think I, somebody once said to me, just pretend they're all cabbages. I just, so, I dunno. Whatever works for you. Just, I think just, but also throw are cabbages.
00:12:32 Oh yeah. But also I think confidence wise, I think just try and be yourself and real. And know that anyone else in this situation will be feeling exactly the same. Nobody is immune. Yeah. And everyone will feel this. And actually in knowing that, I think that, I think there's a comfort in knowing that you are feeling what everyone else feels as well.
00:12:55 It's not just you, you're not alone and feeling, oh my, is this just me? This is awful. I'm feeling horrible about this. Everybody feels that. Yeah. That everyone just have better ways of hiding it. Yes. I think No, I think you are, you are absolutely right. You know, when we see these like confident people that sort of stand there and they can do anything,
00:13:14 you know, they may well have a strategy beforehand. Yeah. You know, and, and I know we've talked before about, it's almost like some people could do it naturally. It's almost like you take a deep breath and you become, you know, Annabel the performer on the stage. Yeah. So, and here I am. And here I am.
00:13:32 Yeah. And big smile. And then you are, you know, you are a fabulous, confident person who's going to sing and everything. I mean, honestly, singing on stage is something that, because Yeah, I'm, I find it terrifying. Yeah. It can be. Totally Not that I sang on stage. It is quite terrifying when you forget your lines.
00:13:51 That's quite terrifying. Yeah. And then just imagine they're all cabbages and you'll Be fine. Exactly. Well, actually my, the worst, one of the worst, the worst thing is when you actually, I mean, this has nothing to do with confidence, but we were doing a panto and my best friend at the time, and I, we,
00:14:07 I was the princess. I think she was the prince. And we had to do 16 going on 17, you know, from sun music. And I happened to look down and as I looked down, the guy who was playing the piano, he and the guitarist who were basically our orchestra in the panto had both put on nuns Wims in the middle of performance.
00:14:27 And they were just there going with smiling faces, you know, just these. And I was just like, oh, I can't, I can no longer sing. I, it was the most, and, and, and I couldn't, I couldn't not laugh. And I was crying on stage trying to get my words out. And everyone had to try and cover up for me.
00:14:46 And that was, I mean, you at that po I mean, yeah, that was just, I had to then come outta character and apologize. It was just the honesty. It was one of those things. You had to be there. It was very fun. It was just the funniest thing ever. But yeah, I, I think, I think everybody,
00:15:04 if, if anyone's feeling not confident, I think a really good, good way. I mean, I know with the art and everything like that, but also join a choir. Oh yes. Join a choir. Because there, there's something about singing with other people and it's a real, especially after these last two years actually. Yeah. Everyone's been very isolated.
00:15:24 Yeah. And, and it doesn't matter what sort of singing it is, doesn't matter what music. I mean, I happen to go to one that sings, it's, you know, propper stuff, but it doesn't matter. Yeah. It, it's being with other people. And I think that you, the confidence you get from everyone around you and being part of something as well.
00:15:42 I think, I think there are a lot of, there are a lot of injured people from the last couple of years. And I think everyone needs to take a lot of care of themselves and some real, you know, so I know your drawing helps and that whole, when you're all drawing together, yes, it's lovely and it, and it,
00:16:00 but, but singing together with everyone making music together is just so human. Yeah. Actually. Yeah. And I, and I really think we need to do everything we can. Anything that anyone makes anyone feel wanted, needed part of something. I think that's just what being human is about. Oh Gosh, I love that. Brilliant.
00:16:27 This year I have been introduced to the most amazing, inspiring and fabulous people. People who have given me totally different perspectives in life. And my guest this week has had a huge impact on me and my family. Having been through quite a turbulent time in the last few years. Kept for the most part safely tucked away and a draw labeled not to talk about when I first started chatting to my next guest, it was all supposed to be about my business and another book I was writing, I think the first time we spoke, she clearly saw something flitting across my face. And she literally stopped in her tracks and asked me some very pertinent questions. Questions I hadn't prepared for. And I remember sitting, crying, not having any tissues to hand, and the tears were literally dripping off my nose. She got me opening up that drawer, pulling everything out and sorting through it, which in turn has made me reevaluate many, many things. Susie Pearl, author, coach, friend, it is my utter pleasure to be talking to you today.
00:17:23 And we only get one life, so we might as well do it.
00:17:26 Well we do. We do. We do. And I know you've, you've, you know, you are, I think you're writing a book about this, and I know you talk about this for, you know, an, an awful lot, but you know only too well that you only have one life.
00:17:40 Yeah, indeed. I am, I'm writing a new book at the moment. It's called I Lost My Mind. And it's a story of when three years ago I started behaving a little more oddly even than I normally do. And I kept forgetting things. I was meeting a friend in a cafe local to my house, and I was an hour late, which is not usual. I'm on, I'm an on time person. She said,
00:18:03 what did you been very strange lady have? Did you forget we were meeting or did you go shopping? I was like, I said, no, I couldn't remember the way and I couldn't remember how to get here. She went, that is very strange. She's a Serbian woman who takes no shit from anyone. She said, I'm taking you to the hospital right now.
00:18:20 And I went, no. Anyway, she did. And she saved my life because what happened, I went to the hospital and I found I had a humongous brain tumor. And they said, okay girl, you've got three weeks, so get your family here now. Don't wait, wait a week and write a will and get your fair affairs in order.
00:18:38 So I was given three weeks, but I knew Bonnie deep down that I wasn't gonna go. It wasn't my time. And some people thought I was just diluted and, and Oh, sweet. She thinks she's gonna be okay. She's not. I knew we would. And I and my son also knew that. So I, I started on a,
00:18:55 I pulled out every tool in the toolbox I knew from my own kind of coaching and so on. And I did a lot of meditation, prayer, visualization, c b D oil, did all sorts of things, hypnosis, and anyway, sh to cut, oh, I had the most important thing with, I had a near death experience, which happens when you have a trauma in your life and you leave your body for a period of time and then you come back into your body.
00:19:22 So you kind of dead for a period of time. And I was, and I came back in and when I came back in, the most extraordinary thing happened. I came back in a different person, a different operating software, different perspective on life, a different understanding. It's like I'd been hanging out with the angels and I came back and I saw,
00:19:42 I, I see the world differently now in a, in a very beautiful way. And I, I know that compassion, kindness, love, respect, all of these things are hugely important to be as a human being. I, I also believe that anything is possible. Really. We have this infinite consciousness, infinite capacity. So at that time I was writing,
00:20:05 I'd been commissioned to write a book on creativity called The Art of Creativity. Once I was Ill and I went through this treatment, I was in hospital for weeks, so I asked my brothers to bring in my laptop, which they did. And I just started to write and I got given this book. I kind of arrived and wrote me in a way,
00:20:25 and I wrote this book on seven Habits, I can't even remember. Seven Powerful Habits to Unblock Your Full Potential. The Art of Creativity. Yeah. I wrote this book based on really more information that I'd seen when I left my body As May. Honestly, I'm, I'm sitting just speechless because, you know, and I know some people, I know some people kind of don't,
00:20:48 don't understand this. They, they don't get it. Yes, yes. But I, I honestly, truly believe, and I think you have to have that, you do have to have that belief system. And it's, and it's not about, you know, medical treatments don't work and all of this type of stuff, but it's definitely this, this deeper sense of,
00:21:06 I, I dunno, whatever it is, I, i, it is just, it's a real fascinating area, isn't it? I mean, you can't, human beings were so magical and complex and you think we go, I was thinking this morning, and gosh, I was asleep for nine hours last night. What happened? I zoomed off and left,
00:21:25 left myself resting in my bed somehow. And, and what happens? What happens when we sleep? You know, how amazing is that? Just simple things that we do every day. How our body breathes us every moment we are breathing and our body is doing trillions of processes without us even thinking about it. And we are just one little human dots on this big planet earth with all these plants,
00:21:46 all these creatures, all these dogs, all these cats, all these animals, all these beautiful things going on, all growing and being magnificent. They can't, this isn't for me, it's not random. You know, there is a, there is a design behind this and I'm always very respectful of that design, whatever it is. And I don't think we're meant to even know how it all works cuz how could we,
00:22:10 you know, our little brains, I'm not sure we can cope with that kind of information. But it's a very interesting thing. And it is interesting that my, my situation now combined all the things I learned earlier on about mind technology, about meditation. I'm big on meditation. I've worked with the David Lynch Foundation for many years, probably about 15 years now.
00:22:32 And that teaches TM meditation to people around the world. And it, it's taught to, for example, servicemen who've been in service, that's men and women who've been in the wars, people in abusive situations, all sorts of things it's used for to help get people better after trauma shock, all of these kind of things. So meditation's been a big foundation stone in my life for many years.
00:23:02 And it's certainly helped me through when I was told, you know, didn't have long to live when you're told you only have a few weeks to live the mine and you think, ho moly, what am I gonna do every day to make this worth it in case I'm not hanging around? You suddenly start talking to people differently. How would you talk to people if you thought you would never see them again?
00:23:21 You'd probably tell 'em you love them, Bonnie, wouldn't you? You'd probably say thank you, I love you and thanks for, you know, you'd just been amazing in my life. Or you'd say all the things you'd be meaning to say and perhaps you've never said in your life. I would encourage everyone to have a think about acting in life as if you haven't got that much time left.
00:23:41 And, and be grateful. Be loving, be kind to everyone around you and do the very best you can because it's true. We aren't here for a very long time. Even if we live for another 80 years, that's still not a very long time. You know how quickly time goes by. So it does sharpen the mind of how to live life And how lovely would it be if everybody was kind.
00:24:02 Oh, and why not? You know, it doesn't cost anything. It's not like I have to give you 500 pounds every time I'm kind. It's the ki kindness is free, it's freely available and does good work out there. You know, if you are kind to someone, it comes back to you for a start if you're gonna look at it that way.
00:24:21 Not why we are kind. But it does, it comes back to you like a boomerang when you're kind to people, kindness is infectious and it's a lovely thing and children need to understand it and yeah. Young people, everyone needs to understand the power of kindness. Yeah, No, absolutely. And, and again, you know, just kind of telling,
00:24:45 telling people that you love them and all of that type of thing. I remember, I dunno whether it was last night, the night before my, my eldest son, he's, he's a funny one anyway, and he just walked in, he'd said something I was drawing away and, and he said, oh, night mom, love you. And it's not something that he normally says.
00:25:03 I think it was a bit tongue in cheek. And then off he went, kind of. And I was like, oh, love you too. And he was like, what, what? And I was like, I said, I love you too. He said, oh, he said, I thought, he said, what's the matter with you? Yeah, Funny. But you know, it's funny, isn't it? How we get used to saying things and get used to not saying things. Yeah.
00:25:28 There are some people in life that you just gel with, even if you've never met or chatted before. When you do, it feels like you've known them forever. My next guest is this kind of person. We actually share many of the same values and run businesses that have kindness at the core. I'm delighted to introduce Uber mummy's owner, the fabulous Alex Smallman.
00:25:51 Dogs are just the most amazing things. Well this is, this is exactly, and I was just about to say exactly that. So John, my other half has never, has never grown up with dogs,
00:26:02 never had dogs. And oh my goodness me, the love he has for Jessica Rabbit is, it is so funny, Bonnie honestly, he walks, John comes, she hears his van, pull up outside, she runs the door, he walks through the door and he picks her up and he goes, Jessica, oh Jessica, like having this full on chat with her while she's going absolutely bonkers.
00:26:29 And then he walks into the kitchen, he goes, oh, hi babe. It's so funny. But she, they, they, the unconditional love that dog brings to the family. And you know, like my stepson Joey, he's, he's just, he just adores her. And actually his, his mommy and him have also just got a puppy this,
00:26:53 they've got an English bulldog this week. And I'm so delighted for them to also have, so he is, so Joey, my stepson has now got a dog in, in either camp that he just loves. And I'm so pleased because from from our perspective, like me and you Bonnie, and anybody that's listening to this, that's an entrepreneur or maybe somebody that's stay at home or whatever,
00:27:15 they are a real, like, they have to go out and be walked. They are a real excuse to drop what you're doing. They can make you feel guilty as hell. They've got those eyes that can look at you that you can just think, oh, okay, I'll stop exactly what I'm doing right now and take you out because yeah. So that,
00:27:36 I just think they are just such a, they're just such a positive because they make us stop. And for me personally, you know, obviously as I've just said, we're trying to have a baby. I, I just, she's given me a real focus where I think it's not all work and no play. You know, it's not, it,
00:27:56 it, it's, she just brought that extra dimension of love. Yeah. Where I just love to have a sit on the sofa and have a cuddle with her and not feel guilty about it in the slightest. Yeah. And that's one thing that I would, I know we're gonna wrap this up. That's one thing I would love anybody to take from this.
00:28:13 If I could give just a, if you don't mind give you, just give a few, maybe some, just a few, like three top tips if you like to why it's so important that we love ourselves and we give ourselves time. And that is you, you, with, as, as human beings. We always feel we have to be so blooming busy.
00:28:35 I would say to anybody, if you want to take a nap or you feel exhausted or you just feel like you're not functioning right or you're not getting things done in the way that you feel that you, you potentially could be, you need to take a rest, you need to stop for 20 minutes. I do it quite often. I quite, quite often in the afternoon,
00:28:57 I'll take a 20 minute nap, literally a power nap. And I'll put my insight timer app on insight timers. An amazing app that has loads of, you know, 10 minute meditations, 10 minute yoga knees, whatever amount of time you want to take. And I'll literally put something on for 20 minutes. I'll say to myself, I'm just gonna have a sleep and then I'll get back up and a crack on.
00:29:20 And that's, and there's no guilt or shame around that whatsoever. I just, I, I would urge anybody to do that more because it's so, so important. If you don't incorporate any exercise into your, or movement into your life or feel like you need to at some point, grab hold of the hand of somebody that's gonna help you grab hold of,
00:29:42 I'm not, it doesn't need to be me. It needs to be somebody. You need to find somebody that's going to champion you, somebody that's gonna hold your hands. Somebody that's going to lift your spirits, lift you up, look after you and make you believe that you can and be okay with you just showing up and doing a small amount. Because it's those small amounts that are gonna get you to,
00:30:04 to where you want to be. And my final thing is note how you feed yourselves. Right? Feeding, we didn't even go, we didn't even go down this route, Bonnie, and, and, and maybe a conversation for another day and I'd be more than delighted to come back on, talk about nourishment and fueling our bodies correctly. But just try to be really mindful of what you put into your body.
00:30:30 Right? Cuz what we put into our bodies is what's going to impact our futures. It's gonna impact how our body operates. So tons of colorful whole foods cook from scratch as much as possible. Make sure you're hydrated well. Ease up on the sugar, ease up on the white, turn everything into as much color as possible and you'll get yourself onto a good track.
00:30:53 Well That's wonderful. So no chocolate, you, You know what A bit of chocolate You've gotta have. I am somebody that loves to inspire people to have balance in life. And it's not an all or nothing, it's not a one size fit fits all approach. It's just get in tune, start notice, start noticing what makes you feel good and what makes you feel crappy.
00:31:23 Yeah. If you eat, if you eat something and you feel like you could go to sleep 10 minutes later, don't eat so much of that, it's gonna make you feel worse. Yeah. If you eat or drink something that makes you feel really good, you know, do do more of it. But maybe just not the wine. So much Wine.
00:31:41 Wine can make us feel good at the time, but make us feel, and also you touched upon it earlier and, and you know, this is important to note that I'm 40. I don't, I'm not sure exactly how old you are Bonnie, and you don't have to divulge that, but you know, my 40 year old body is not what my 30 year old body was.
00:31:57 My body doesn't respond well to battering it. So I move more mindfully. I put weight through my body. I love to do more strength training, which anybody can do at home by just utilizing a few things from around the house. I don't pull up well from a heavy night of drinking, so I do less of that and I don't do it as often,
00:32:21 you know? But I love to have a drink. I'm real and anybody that knows me will know that that's what I am. I'm not somebody that doesn't live life, but, And it's, you know, absolutely. It's, it is about moderation, isn't it? It is. I'm totally with you. I mean, I, I don't, I don't really drink.
00:32:40 It's not that I, you know, I don't drink. I prefer to have a, a cup of tea or, or whatever. Yeah. Goodness me. You know, if, if I do, oh my goodness, I know about it. Takes, takes a week to recover. Yeah. And that and that also that for women will play out in a much bigger way the older we get with our hormones changing,
00:33:05 you know, the drop in estrogen within our bodies, you know, going through the change, you know, and it will. Yeah. So that's why it's really, really, really, really more important than ever that we are lock into the things that we know are good for us. Yes. And that we do do a bit more of those,
00:33:22 but in a really mindful way, you know, in a really, really mindful way. But I'm sure, you know, it's, it's very difficult in a short chat like this to get all the correct messaging across. But what I would say to anybody that if anybody just is listening to this and feels like they maybe needed just a little helping hand or they want to reach out and ask any questions,
00:33:43 please know that my inbox is always open. And I, you know, I say that to everybody cause I, I want people to make sure they have the support around them. Right. I didn't, I didn't change my life by myself. I changed my life by taking somebody's hand and, and letting someone else help me.
00:34:07 I've always struggled finding clothes that suited me. Especially now that I'm a larger size. Last year leafing through a magazine, I came across this lovely smiley lady who offered a styling consultancy. I felt really drawn to her and contacted her. I'm delighted that this week my guest is Sarah Gray. She's helped me hugely with my wardrobe. And although I still sway back to my comfort clothes, I know that I have some fabulous outfits when I need them.
00:34:36 I sometimes think, God, I really should make an effort because if I don't, I'm, I'm being, that's rude. I should be dressing up and I should be putting all my makeup on or I should be doing my air properly because otherwise it's really rude. And then the other part of me saying, but is it rude or are you just showing up as your authentic self at the moment?
00:34:54 Yeah. So I have probably quite a lot to say about that. But first thing is that word should it, we need to get rid of it because who says how you should show up? You know, I do not for one minute think she's rude. Didn't put your makeup on today. No, it's not. It is not. It's, it just isn't a big thing.
00:35:24 It can be, and some people, you know, you'll talk about having, possibly having the mask, but some people's mask is showing up with makeup. Don't step out the front door without it. You know, so you got, it goes from complete opposite ends of the spectrum. And I think there's so much of the, oh, I should be doing this and I should be doing that.
00:35:48 And actually what we, if we're gonna use the word should, what we should be doing is what's true to each of ourselves. You know, when you go to an event or when you go for a photo shoot, the effort is put in, but it's not like some unbelievable amount of effort that you think, crikey, this isn't taken me weeks to prepare for.
00:36:10 It's just enough to be appropriate for whatever the occasion or, or whatever. But on a day today, you've gotta be Bonnie, you know? And, and that is really important to me. You can just tweak maybe when you are on camera as you do, oh I'll put my blue shirt on today cuz I know that looks fab or you know,
00:36:32 and those things. And that's enough. It, it really is. I don't, I genuinely don't think we should be making ourselves into something. We're not, you know, as long as we're always appropriate, it's, that's good enough, you know. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, you know, I've been to my, my nephew's 21st,
00:36:54 well it was actually his 23rd. Yes. First it was gonna be a 32nd and then now it was just Yeah. You know, you suggested some some really a really nice outfit actually. Yeah. Which I wore. And you know, I felt part of, you know, the whole thing. Cause they were all wearing their dresses and everything like that.
00:37:14 And I, I did feel, you know, and it was, it was, I would never have picked out what you picked for me. Okay. You Know, so, and this is something that I, I remember the, the blue shirt with the lizards on. Yes. I love that shirt. Yeah. Remember, You know, And your,
00:37:31 when you style, I, I really love, you know how how you kind of send your videos through. So you send through, you've got a little circle with your face in it and you're That's Right. Yeah. And then you go, right, so this is your mood board one and this is what I've chosen for you and this are the reasons why.
00:37:47 And then it's obviously a, a system that you use, like a platform or something that You Yes. Yeah. It's down the side and you're like, you know, right. I'll go and buy that. So click on that off go, go and buy that. And you were like, Hmm. So this is a bit of a, I'm not sure about this,
00:38:03 you know, and it, I, I'm not sure whether you're gonna like it. And I looked at it and I was like, lizards, when would I ever wear anything with a lizard on it? And I thought, you know what, I'm open-minded and I'm, and so I bought it and like, what's at home? And I put it on.
00:38:21 I was like, oh my goodness, this is just amazing. The colors, just the way it fitted. Everything was perfect. And since then we both been trying to find something similar. Yes. And haven't kind of, of got anywhere, anywhere close. But it's that, that is a really, really super piece of clothing and it's so versatile cause I can wear it with stuff under it or,
00:38:43 you know, whatever. But that then started to show me that I could actually get something that was, but the, the other thing that you told me as well, cause we did, we had to do it all virtually. And I remember doing it on the phone and me having to go through all my clothes in my cupboards. That's right. And I think one of the ones was like when you went,
00:39:03 when you went a little bit quiet and, and you weren't rude or anything, but I could almost hear in your head, what were you thinking? What were, what was going through your mind when you bought that? Well I now know you well enough that I could actually say it out loud. You could, you could Like, no Bennett, but The ones,
00:39:23 There's a few where I bought patent stuff. Yes. You know, and you, you talked me through why those patent things wouldn't work, you know, so I've got quite big boobs. So a big pattern kind of over my, over a boob is gonna kind of accentuate it. And you talked me through all of the reasons why I needed sort of layering and,
00:39:45 you know, asymmetric shape and all of that type of stuff. Which of course I mean, I mean if I, if I just had to buy stuff on my own, I'd buy navy blue and that would be it. Yeah. I just, I'm just dressed head to toe in navy blue because again, I think I'm trying to just blend in.
00:40:04 Yeah. You know, I was driving through Harrogate yesterday. I was going to a physio appointment and, and it was quite busy and I was kind of driving up through on the main sort of street where the, the bus buses and everything. Lots of people around. Yeah. And there was this lady, and she must have been about 60 and she was dressed head to toe in,
00:40:23 she had pinks, she had oranges. She was like really bright. And I literally went past like that and my, my, yeah. Fantastic. Oh my God, she looks amazing. Yeah. I would never have spotted her if she'd have been stood there in native blue. She looked fantastic, you know, she was a, a bigger lady,
00:40:42 but she was just like, you know what, I love what I'm wearing and you know, I think I look fantastic and that kind of oozes out then, doesn't it? And I was like, Gosh. It does. Yeah. It's, it's holds your head high. And, and, and just own it. And, and that is what she will have done.
00:41:01 Yeah. And she'll be doing that daily in all sorts of get up probably cuz it's how she sounds Exactly. That sort of person. Yeah. And it's, it's amazing. You know, you can really own it and that gives you a kind of an extra layer of confidence. It's very clever. You know, it's very, I'm not saying everyone has to go out and,
00:41:21 and but wear the brightest thing possible. It's not really about that. It's about just being comfortable in what you love. So like the lizards, it was a, a curve, excuse me, it was a curve ball, but one I really secretly hoped you loved and, and you did. And, and now you couldn't walk any down any high street and hold your head high with your lizards on and they're not in your face.
00:41:49 No. It's all are they, they just, it's just an interesting, fun pattern. And that is well Bonnie's interesting and you fun. It's putting you your inside. It's putting you on the outside. Yeah. And that's the key is put this, sometimes I wonder if when we are, we do all, you know, we do sometimes go towards the navys,
00:42:11 the blacks, greys, that all of them are brilliant base colors to have in the wardrobe. But sometimes you think, okay, so what am I trying to hide? What am I, why don't I want my real meat to be on the outside? And I see my job as the icing on the cake. So you've done all that work that per,
00:42:30 you know, continual personal development. I know you are huge on it and I know you, you know, it's a big part of your life a as it is mine. And, and when you are at the point where you are ready, you might not know you are ready. Like you opened a magazine and thought, oh, I'm ready for that.
00:42:46 You know, and I'm the icing on the cake. You can't, you can't change your life by what you wear. But you can, you could, you know, it's not a life or death, but it's the, i it's, for me it's the icing on the cake when you've, when you are comfortable in who you are, it's sort of magic sprinkling if you like it.
00:43:04 Yeah, no, a ab Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think that's why I'm really, you know, when I'm doing my Zoom calls and I'm doing, you know, different sessions and everything, I feel very comfortable with who I am here. Absolutely. It's, it's when I have to go, you know, outta my comfort zone when I have to go.
00:43:20 Yeah. You know, it's like I'm going on holiday in a couple of weeks time and again, I, you know, I'm not, I'm thinking, oh gosh, you know, what am I gonna wear? And then I'm thinking of, you know, who cares what I'm gonna wear? Yeah. You know, if I want to wear a bikini,
00:43:36 you know, who cares. Yeah, absolutely. There's, There's other large ladies who wear bikinis and I look at them and I think, oh my god, they look amazing. Yeah. You know? Absolutely. It's funny how I can look at, so, you know, follow different people and everything on, on Instagram and I can look at some really quite large ladies Yeah.
00:43:54 And still think they look incredibly attractive. Yeah. You know, beautiful clothes and, and, and I, I don't look at their bodies and think, oh god, you know, they, they just look wonderful. Yeah, Absolutely. It's funny how I can't look at, I probably need some more inner work, I think, but I can't look at my body and,
00:44:15 and kind of em embrace it. I I always sort of see this bit of a dough baby, I'm laughing, but I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing, I'm laughing with you. So I it that you're not, it's, it's not, that's, I can't get my words out. It's not uncommon. It's absolutely what women do. We are our own worst enemies because we would,
00:44:40 we think, we look at ourselves and we put all the negative thoughts and you know what we see what we think we see, but we would never dream of saying that to another woman and stand in front of the mirror and this, this already people are backing off. I can almost hear. But, but if you, if you get it, get yourselves into something that's figure hugging.
00:45:05 So it might, you know, if you're not happy to stand there with just your underwear, that's fine. Put something like a, a leggings and a and a tight top on so you can see your outline. And I, you know, this takes some doing, so you might do it in, in stages, but if you stand in front of the mirror and you,
00:45:23 you leave the negative thoughts out the door and you, you start to actually say what you see. So you might say, okay, oh, this wouldn't be me cause I've got a really short neck. But you might say, oh, I've got a slender neck. Whereas before you might have said, oh, my hair's a mess, or I've got a round face,
00:45:45 or No, no. Let's, let's point out the, the actual facts. Let's say, okay, well my neck is slender or it's, it's shorter than so-and-so's or whatever. Oh, my shoulders, oh yes, they're quite rounded or they're quite broad or they're, and and actually it's, it's the, not the, it's not the internal thoughts we want,
00:46:09 it's the actual facts. So my shoulders are wider than my hips. My hips are wider than my shoulders, or I don't seem to have much of a waist, or I am straight or I go in at the waist and come back out again. Whatever. It's, it'll be different for all of us. But, but learning those facts and ex it is a way to kind of accept those facts when we've got the facts.
00:46:39 Okay. So I know I've got a defined waist. Excellent. I know now that I need to wear perhaps something that's more fitted so it shows my waist off and, and those, and then you, then you can start applying the, the bits that will help you get dressed if you like. And it's a slow process, especially when we're not used to,
00:46:56 you know, most women, I mean, despite the fact that girls spend their lives looking at selfies, doing selfies and all of that, women of a certain age, myself included, we actually don't like looking in the mirror, do we? So, you know, so it's the case of starting gradually and getting used to seeing yourself factually, not,
00:47:19 oh I'm this and oh I'm that. To take almost a step away from yourself if you like. It's a bit of a rambled way of describing it. Yeah, I totally get that. Totally understand that. And it, you know, it's the same with everything, isn't it? It's that, sorry, my dog's wandering around. That's fine. You know,
00:47:40 it's, it's about getting rid of that little critical inner Yeah. Voice. And it's hard, it's hard that self talk is so deep and you know, but we can, we can amend it, we can change it if we just go about it slowly and little steps at a time. And it, it reminded me actually one of your podcast guests,
00:48:05 Alex, I think her name is from Oh Uber Mummies. Yes. Yeah. She talked about celebrating the small wins and it's a, it's again, something like that we don't do, we, we always focus on, oh, I haven't done this and I haven't done that, actually, hang on a minute, what are the small things I have done?
00:48:28 Because each of those will add up to something really quite amazing. And so I take a very similar approach. It's the small steps, you know, that will get you thinking more positively about yourself and then you can be more proactive and, and you know, in, in whatever form that takes for you, as I say, will all be different. Which is right.
00:48:52 So I had the most lovely afternoon this afternoon, A young artist from the northeast who is part of my academy came over for, well it was gonna be a cup of tea, but she doesn't drink tea, which I'll forgive her. We, we actually had Normandy, apple and pear, MandS fizz, which was absolutely gorgeous. And she brought a load of cakes again, which were absolutely gorgeous. And I have to say, I spent about an hour and a half in the company of somebody who, the tender age of 20 has got so much integrity and is so inspiring through what she's done. And I'm just, honestly, she was just, I was in awe talking to her. She was absolutely fantastic and the most gorgeous, gorgeous girl. You know, honestly Absolutely gorgeous and so funny. Just an absolute pleasure to chat to. So yeah, sit back and enjoy the lovely Jessica Liz Fine Arts podcast interview. She is an absolute treasure.
00:50:09 That's definitely my long-term plan. Well my end goal is to have like a luxury maybe pet portraitbusiness. I don't know if that could branch but a luxury drawn brand almost. Because I think I've got such a massive imagination sometimes and a lot of people, like even my grandma and my family do laugh and I think, but it is possible like these ideas. But so you kind of think like designer clothes, like you've got brands, you've got labels, you've got cars that are known to be more expensive.
00:50:45 You've got Marks and Spencers. It's known to be an expensive top high quality supermarket. Why can't that be the way for art as well? Why can't Bonny Snowdon Academy, Jessica-Liz Fine Art, be a household art name, brand label. And that's where I'm headed. My name is gonna be in Monaco, in America. It's gonna be, it's gonna be everywhere.
00:51:17 That's brilliant. And I know that sounds crazy, but I think you've got to think like that to make it happen. Yeah. It doesn't sound crazy at all. And I think, I think this is what, I think it's really, really important to have that, even if it's like a, an enormous goal. Yeah. You've got that goal,
00:51:35 you've got the vision and now it's about all of those little steps in between that you can just, you know, yeah. Cross off as you go along them. But that, that vision is always there sort of staring back at you and you and you. That's in the back of your mind. A hundred percent. And it's so motivational. It's if I'm having,
00:51:51 cuz I do stuff, I terribly for mental health. And if I'm having a day where I'm like, I'm not even picking up a pencil. I'm like, you will, if you wanna go to Monaco, if you wanna get there, you'll have to pick up a pencil. But that, yeah, that's my goal. Like a luxury. I kind of,
00:52:09 I think I've been very, very fortunate growing up in that. I've, I've never really wanted for anything. I've never gone without. I wanted dance lessons for a lot of years. I had singing lessons. I want to, I'd like to say brilliant schools. I went to schools that are known to be brilliant. What you get out of it is what you get out of it.
00:52:28 But I was very fortunate growing up and I want to be able to continue that life and provide it for my children. But also back to the family that gave me it, who, who helped me get to where I am now and who always got me everything at was after. And I mean that makes me sound really spoiled. I wasn't because my dad and mom and my mom as well taught me really well to understand the meaning of money and how important it is and how it works and how grateful you should be for things that you can get from a young age.
00:53:03 If you wanted pocket money, you did the washing up, you did the dishwasher. So I then learned really quickly how good it feels to work hard to earn your own money and then get the things that you really want. And I think that's something that a lot of children unfortunately now don't, don't understand. It's something that, that I'd like to teach.
00:53:26 Even when in lush, when little kids come in the shop, if they've got their pocket money, they've saved hardly in their own pocket money. You get a bath bomb. We do a thing called random amount of kindness where you can, you can give a free bath bomb and if they've brought their own pocket money, I always give them an extra bath bomb and see well done and congratulate them on how well they've,
00:53:44 they've spent their money and how well they've saved. I think it's something that's really important to, and I think I am quite young to understand all of that and to be where I am. And I think that is completely because from a young age I was, I had quite a good understanding of money and how important but difficult it was because we have,
00:54:11 we have definitely gone through some tougher times. But when you know how to spend money and when you know where it's come from and how hard people have worked to, to earn it, everything you get is appreciated greatly. And I think that's something else that I think people, when they purchase art, that's how they feel. So a lot of people think,
00:54:37 oh, oh, it's something that rich people buy. Or Oh, I couldn't spend that much money on a drawing or whatever. And I think that's partly why I like the feeling so much because I know how much people will appreciate it when they get it. Yeah. But yeah, I'm going, going big, I'm going home. Well, I mean talking about going big or going home,
00:54:58 you know your amazing Oh yeah. Reveal just recently on your, on your social media and actually you revealed it in my art club, which was just Yeah, that's honestly the, I had so many messages that came to me. Did You? Yeah. Going, oh my goodness, what a lovely girl. How amazing, blah blah blah. And I was just like,
00:55:19 oh, just, isn't it brilliant? Cause I remember, is it last year we, we, I think we had like a confidence session and you know, you, you contributed and, and you did get quite emotional, you know, about different bits and pieces and like you do, you know, if you're passionate about something and you want to do something,
00:55:38 if something's either not working or, or you are working towards something and it's, and it maybe is happening. Yeah. But it was just, we'd had that session and you know, I always, I always sort of think about you in, in that session and, and then of course you did, you, you know, you kind of revealed what you were doing in the art club and I was just like,
00:55:57 oh my goodness, this is just, I know the first, It was just brilliant. I Just, so talk to me about, you know, how it came about, what it was and, and kind of what that, what that means to you. Yeah, so the in Sell Shields, there's a theater called the Customs House. Now the main man at the customs house is called Ray Spencer.
00:56:19 And he's always been a family friend. Like I said in my coffee morning, my mom's from the theater, my dad's from the theater. My full family is theatrical. We've always been in and out the theater on stage. So we're very good friends with Ray and everybody in the theater and most theaters in socials, as is everybody else who does sing in a dancing Excel shields.
00:56:43 And he sent my mom a message to say that he was interested in drawing. And I was like, oh yeah, brilliant. Cuz I had, I normally got a dog as well. So I was thinking, oh girl must want their pooch doing. And my mom said, no, I'm, he kind of given the impression it was a human.
00:57:03 And I was like, oh, alright. Like thinking it's been a while since I've done a human, but, alright, we'll we'll see what happens. So I sent him a message and said, oh hi Raymond. Mom said, you've been in touch, what can I help you with? The next thing I know, excuse me, the next thing I know he's ringing me and saying,
00:57:18 now Jessica, this is all very confidential. You can't tell anybody. It's all on the download. Nobody knows. And I was like, right. He was like, I want a commissioner. And I was like, brilliantly. He was like, it's for to draw a human, would that be all right? And I was like, well yeah,
00:57:34 depends who it is. And he was like, so Hillary Clinton's coming to some shields and we want you to draw. And I swear, I think I'll laugh. No one good one because I was like, what you coming here for? And he went, no, no, we want you to draw a portrait of Alpha. When she comes, she's coming to do a letter with David Milliband.
00:57:55 There's a South Shield's lecture every year and she's coming to be the guest speaker this year. She's gonna popular to the custom's house and we want, she's gonna see this exhibition and we want, we want her to feel comfortable and say for a drone of ourself. So I said, okay. And we discussed, well first of all I said, okay,
00:58:14 I'll have the thing and I'll get back to you because I don't make any decisions without help. So ended the call, I ran downstairs to my stepmom Helen, and she was like, what is it? What is it? I'll say, Helen, Helen, I dunno if I can tell you. I dunno if I can tell you, but, but oh I'll just tell you.
00:58:30 And I was like, you can't tell anybody but Hillary Clinton's coming and R wants me to draw a portrait of her. And she was like, oh wow. Like me and Helen were freaking out in the kitchen. It was so many. So she was happy. Best ring your dad and see what he thinks because I'm very, very lucky in that everybody in my family helps me in some way with my business.
00:58:52 I could not do it on my own. I, I have, with my mental health, I have what I like to call a full brain and there's nothing else going in there. And people tell me things and I go, yeah, no worries. And less than 30 seconds later it's completely gone. So money, things keeping up to date with everybody on social media,
00:59:14 messaging, people back, emailing people. If I didn't have Helen and my dad and my mom and even me, grandma sometimes remind me I would not be where I am today, but I, I'm getting much better at organizing it. But so like right when he speak to dad and see what he thinks because it would, it was a very short deadline,
00:59:32 four weeks or something, five weeks and it would put other people's commissions back and it was going to be something that I wasn't, I couldn't message somebody and say I can't do your commission right now because, because it was completely a hundred percent confidential. So I rang my dad and I was like, dad, isn't this amazing? And he was like,
00:59:53 well you know, I really need to think about this and I really need to think about that and I don't really know whether you should do that and how do you feel with your mental health? Are you gonna be okay? And he, because he was in work, he was in work mode and he bless him, I let, I hung up and I was like,
01:00:08 I was good, I'm a bit rich. And I was like, I can't believe he's not happy for me and blessing. He must have realized he'd gone in a work mode and he sent me a message saying, I'm so sorry kid, I'm so proud. That's amazing. Let's talk about when I get home anyway, but decided I was gonna do it because I thought,
01:00:24 so if like shorthaired dogs, I can like smash through really quick longhaired dogs hard pass, but if it's short haired I can do it really quick. So I thought, I think my next four or something was short haired. So it was something that I was going to be able to get back from quite quickly. And I thought it's something I can't,
01:00:45 I can't, I couldn't say no, no. So we'll discuss pricing things and that was something that was really difficult because I'd never asked for that kind of money before and it was gonna be on a scale like a two that I've never drawn before. It was gonna be needed to be like the best frame the like it's needed special art class. And I,
01:01:04 my dad was saying, well if you think about like how much you would do for an A three portrait of a dog, how long it would take, how many, cause I had to take some time off Losche as well. And I sat around, sat around, we're kind of settled on about five 50. And even then I was like, oh dad,
01:01:20 that's 40 much, it's 40 much we call for that much money. But there was also a tiny part of me in the back that was like, this is going to take me a month. I should be asking for more. But I just felt I couldn't and I thought, you know, Ray's on me a massive favor by asking me to do this and the publicity that comes from that is gonna be worth more than anything.
01:01:41 So I settled on five 50 and I was, I sent him, I sent Ray a message and I was, I remember we were driving back from Teen Valley, which is a shopping center and, and I'd sent the message and I was going, dad, dad, what if he says no? What if he says no one, I've blown my chance,
01:01:54 I've blown it. And he just text back straight away saying, brilliant, get crack kiddo. And I was like, should I asked for more? But so, so it was settled. I was doing it all started it then went on a massive rollercoaster set of what it was and it changed from being that it was gonna be in an exhibition that she was gonna look at.
01:02:17 Then a flight got canceled so she, she wasn't gonna make it to the customs house, she was just going straight at the lecture. So then it was gonna be put at the lecture I forgot to look at and then leave. Then it was gonna be a GIF for at then it wasn't a GIF for Rat. And then eventually on the day of meeting at it landed that she was gonna take it home.
01:02:34 It was a gift for her. Now what did, when doing it, I kind of went back to the mode of when I was doing my grandpa and thinking about something that she probably wouldn't have had before because I'm sure I had something that she had been presented hundreds of and I wanted to give her something that wasn't, didn't show up in a light of politics or media or the way she's portrayed mainly in the world,
01:03:07 but something that was more p personal to her with it being a gift. It went, ended up working really well because it didn't speak anything about what's going on in America at the minute, what's going on here at the minute. It didn't speak anything about where she's been in the past or what she might do in the future. It spoke completely about who she is in herself,
01:03:33 who she is as a mother, as a wife, as a friend, completely and utterly herself with no other connotations around. And then I had a big blank space in front of her cuz I wanted it to kind of portray that in her future, it's her choice. If she wanted to leave politics, leave it all behind. That's what she can do.
01:03:57 If she wants to portray, if she wants to continue being a grandma, that's what she can do. And I want to leave it empty because I wanted that to kind of see without everything else the future has for hers, for whatever she wants to do. It's the same for everybody. Whatever you want your future to hold, whether it be what you've been doing for the,
01:04:19 your entire life, whether it be something completely different, whether it be a bit of both, it's your yours to do with whatever you want no matter who you are and what you've done. So yeah, then I got to meet her and it was amazing. I was, it was so, so, so complicated because from day I said I was on holiday when it looked as if she was gonna be coming and it had been booked for ages,
01:04:44 my dad and Helen and I were gonna go out and do the North Coast 500 in a water home. And we were so excited would like plot each day, every activity we were gonna do each day. And then Henry Clinton just came and dropped ourself in on day 10 of a 14 day trip and I was like, dad, I'm not gonna do, and it wasn't literally until two days before we left that all I that I finally decided I,
01:05:10 I really want to go. Because I was kind of thinking, I'm all right with that, just being given it by somebody else. Do I really want it? Because it hadn't been on a holiday in so long. But I was like, no I, I can't not meet that and present this role that I've done myself to our myself. So my mom saving grace.
01:05:29 So we were on the morning of Socha, came on the Friday, on the morning of the Friday I was literally at the bridge of the IS guy and on the Thursday evening my mom drove up all the way to Inverness with my little sister and stayed overnight and then my dad drove me in the motor home from the is sky to Inverness dropped me and then he went back to Is Sky to continue on and my mom brought me all the way back from in Vanessa in a day we didn't stop at all.
01:05:59 And then on the way home, Ray text me saying, so it's gonna be a gift we're at and we need to have some sort of reveal. Have you got a piece of material Now two weeks prior before I went on holiday I had text racing, I don't know if you're thinking of mum a reveal or whatever I do I need to get something for a reveal.
01:06:16 And he was like, no, no, it's fine as it is. And then when I was halfway on the motor, on the motor from Inverness, he texted me saying, oh we are doing a reveal. So we all went into full panic mode but it got sorted and I found the perfect piece of like gray cloth to go over it. And when we got there,
01:06:36 so I had bought a pink power suit obviously. And when we got to the school where the lecture was held, I was carrying it, it was massive. I was carrying it and something came over me and I was like, I've made it, I'm here made sure everyone knows. And I was just walking around going, does anybody know where they want the artist?
01:06:56 Does anybody know where they want the artist guys? I'm the, I'm the artist, I'm here. And they were literally like, what an artist. And I was a mess and I've sang and danced and performed in front of thousands of people on stage and my mom was like, Jess, why? Like why are you so nervous? You've been on stage before.
01:07:15 And I was like, mom, I'd literally rather go on stage solo at Glast. Like I'd be less nervous for that than I am to meet this one lady. And I've always said it's so much easier with like loads of people than it is like one-on-one. But I think it was more excitement than anything else rather than nerves. But I was already freaking out cause so she has like a full staff team with that at all times and they're like huge massive tall security guards who all talk in their wrists like you see on the movies.
01:07:50 It was so cool. Like, so basically they followed us around everywhere we walked. Like me and my mom had like a guy, the mayor and the lady MAs had like a guy and they're just following you around. So we, my mom and I and the mayor and the lady Mars ushered into one room and with Ray as well and there was a like a,
01:08:11 a security guard bodyguard guy stood outside and every time we made a movement in the thing he would like speak his wrist and we were like, what's going on? But it was, it was, it just made the experience so much more cool cause it was literally like a film anyway so I was already freaking out with it just being me, the mayor and the lid Mars who I'd never met anyway and and like my mom was like,
01:08:35 it's just the mayor like don't pack. And I was like, yeah I know but you're still like more important than me. I was like, it's still pretty cool. So just, but they were both lovely but I was certainly like, so ladies you nervous? And they were like, yeah they were lovely. It was stead funny like had had a really good chat and kind of settled each other.
01:08:52 Anyway, then they went out and there was several other people, the police constable and everyone was gonna meet her as well and there was several other people who gotta go and the save Me and last and I was like, whoa, this full time she stood there talking to all these people and there's just this easel with a big thing on and a cloth and she must have been thinking desperately not wanna know what's underneath that.
01:09:14 Anyway, so then like the security guard came was like, you're up. And I was like, okay. So I went out and reintroduced me and I shook her hand and she was, as soon as I started speaking to her, she put us at ease so quickly. She was so lovely. And I've said to everybody, no matter what she's done politically that people disagree with or people have got,
01:09:38 everybody's got their own opinions on that and I don't really follow politics so I'm not up to date with it. I don't follow it really. But no matter what has gone on there in our past or what she does in politics, when she spoke to me, she was lovely and I couldn't follow that. She was a really truly interested in how I'd created my business,
01:10:00 what I had created this drawing with, what pencils had I used, how did I do it, how long did it take me, do I have a business? What else do I draw? She even took a business card and she, she literally turned all our stuff as soon as I unveiled and she was like, I'm gonna butcher the American accent right now.
01:10:17 Oh my goodness, can somebody please get this home safely on the plane? I'm so worried about her getting home safe. And I was literally like, oh my God, she actually really wants to take it home. That was kind of the moment where I was like, wow. Like she actually does like it. She wouldn't, you wouldn't just say that,
01:10:33 you would just go, oh thank you if you didn't have to. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh wow. And then there was a moment where it was Mamie mom and Hillary and as staff were kinda like come and running because she'd been blocked by, I think it might have been Ray having a conversation with David Milland and as staff were like,
01:10:53 you could see them edging over the way and she was just like, like just lifting lefted a hand and kind of looked as if to be like, I'm all, I'm having a conversation and was closer then like you are me now. And we just had a chat for five minutes and I was literally like, what? Like it was surreal. How amazing.
01:11:11 It was incredible. And I was just thinking when you're out the room, I just wanted to say, this is a little bit deep, but I just thought it was necessary to say for people who listen to me cuz I know well like being in the community, being on like the Zooms and there were a lot of people who struggle with confidence and I just wanted to say that I sound really confident and like I've got a plan and I know what I'm doing.
01:11:33 I want to see for the record that that is not the truth. I think I might just be a really good actress because most days I am getting better now, but most days I'm really poorly with depression and anxiety and I don't want people who listen to me now to think that they can't get where I've got or do the things that that we've done because they have those thoughts as well.
01:12:03 Because those are things I, I struggle with every single day. Every single day. And there was a time when I was smashing out commissions before Christmas and I probably didn't sleep for months and there's a photo I took that real take makeup work outfit, outfit now because you've got a laugh of otherwise you'll cry. And I was upholding me, me final commission finished before Christmas and I was smiling and it was the fakest thing I've ever seen in my life and the bags under my eyes were horrific.
01:12:34 But I just wa I just, I know that's so weird to mention, but I just thought it was important to mention because I know that if I heard somebody who sounded quite as confident as I probably do that I would think, wow, she's got it together. But I don't. But I think it's important for people to know that it is possible even even on the days where you're lying in your bed and you're thinking,
01:13:05 I'm rubbish at this, I'm terrible at this, I'm not gonna get where I want to be. I shouldn't even get outta bed. Even if you're having those thoughts, you can do it. And it's even to myself, it sounds staffy now because I could say that to myself on one of those days and I wouldn't believe it, but now I am where I am meeting the Beyonce of Coloured pencils and I'm not sure about and like it,
01:13:35 it is po it is easy to see that it is possible you can, you can get up one the morning, you can push through those things that are the thoughts that are telling you you can't and you can fake it till you make it. Yes.
01:13:52 I really hope you enjoyed listening to this episode of my It's A Bonny Old Life podcast. If you did, I'd be so grateful to you for emailing me or texting a link to the show or sharing it on social media with those you know who might like it too. My mission with this podcast is all about sharing mine and my community's experience and hope by telling your fascinating personal stories, championing the other amazing humans in my personal, professional, and membership community. And to create another channel through which I can support you to realize your coloured pencil and life dreams.
01:14:26 If you haven't done so yet, please help me on my mission to spread positivity and joy throughout the Coloured pencil world by following me on my socials @BonnySnowdonAcademy or by getting on my list at bonnysnowdonacademy.com And remember, I truly believe if I can live the life of my dreams doing what I love, then you can too. We just need to keep championing and supporting each other along the way in order to make it happen. Until next time,
